· It seems super weird to me to messages someone you know in real life on an online dating site. If you already know the person, maybe just ask them out in that context? That said, I think it would be weird to just ignore a message from someone you know and will be interacting with in the future. For those who have emailed you thus far, I would respond briefly with one of the excellent · It is unbearably rude to just ignore messages. Someone is, indeed, going out on a limb. The least you can do is say "Thank you, but I'm not interested'. Give them one chance to do the "Aww but I'm so awesome you'll love me" shtick, say "No thank you" again, and block them · Six Tips To Say ‘No Thanks’ When Online Dating. It’s easy enough to give advice about how to get yourself a date, how to make your profile more attractive and noticeable, finding the right things to say, how to be proactive and so on and so forth. But these aren’t the only kind of ‘how to’ tips when embarking on online dating. There’s also the much less romantic but just as
How to politely decline people on internet dating sites? - etiquette | Ask MetaFilter
How to politely decline people on internet dating sites? May 2, AM Subscribe What are the best ways to politely decline people on internet dating sites?
For a little background, I went through a tough divorce in and am finally ready to try dating. I'm a male in my late 30s and have always had a lot of female friends. I am known for joking around a lot, making people laugh and complimenting them. I am realizing more and more how often this gets confused for flirting and has begun to lead to a lot of misunderstandings.
I think it's just some need to make people are at ease, to make sure they're having fun. I guess I'm a people pleaser. Anyhow, I don't think my online dating profile is anything great, but I continue to get messages from women who want to chat. In some cases, they're women I've actually met around town so they already know me and know I can be gregarious. But I feel like a jerk when they say, online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks remember you, I thought you were very charming, would you like to get a drink?
I'm sensitive to hurting people's feelings and I have no idea how to say, thanks but no thinks in a diplomatic way. Should I bite the bullet and just go on these dates anyway? I am not one to ignore emails or messages if someone is nice enough to contact me. But I am very sensitive to leading people on. Ladies, online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks, is there an acceptable way for a man to tell you, thanks but no thanks, and not think he's a jerk?
Become one, online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks. Seriously, that's the kindest possible way to turn someone down online. Just don't respond. She'll get the hint. You are not the Infinite and Eternal One that she is hanging her hopes of romance and happiness online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks. posted by Etrigan at AM on May 2, [ 24 favorites ].
I'm not sure exactly what you should do, but it absolutely should not be this. posted by Aizkolari at AM on May 2, [ 20 favorites ]. I agree that ignoring the emails is the way to go.
I'm in a similar situation, and the part of me that values kindness and tact tells me I should respond to the messages I receive. Logically, though, I've come to realize that when I'm not interested, there's nothing Online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks can say that will feel less bad to the person than ignoring them. Conversely, I'm pretty shy to message someone, and when I do, I'd much rather not hear from them than get some canned "sorry, I'm not interested" or "sorry, you're not my type.
If it's someone you know in person, and you'd like to be friends with them: "I don't think we're a match, but I'm up for coffee. If they persist, just ignore them.
Being direct is not being a jerk. If you are vague, you will be perceived as a jerk if they think you're leading them on. posted by desjardins at AM on May 2, [ 15 favorites ]. Anyone who's been dating online for any amount of time will recognize a lack of response as the most polite way of indicating a lack of interest.
It's still not actually politeper se, just the least unpleasant way of indicating it. It sucks, online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks, and it's a little maddening when you're on the other end of it and waiting for someone to reply, but it's a skill one must cultivate. There isn't really a way to tell someone you're not attracted to them in a way that will land as softly as you're hoping. The exception is if you're already met them in person.
If you want to reject someone that you've met in person, you first dump praise on them "you're a really awesome person, a lot of fun," whatever and then you say that, while they are really cool people, you just didn't feel that in-person chemistry that you're looking for.
Emphasize that this is not a fault on either person's side. They'll feel a little deflated for a half-hour or so and then it's on to the next profile.
posted by FAMOUS MONSTER at AM on May 2, [ 3 favorites ]. Yes, ignoring is the polite signal for 'not interested' in online dating culture. posted by greta simone at AM on May 2, online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks, [ 5 favorites ]. The scenario you mentioned is pretty much the exact reason I stopped dating online. Like you, I was getting contacted by men I knew in my town. Unlike you, I also teach in the town where I live so sometimes I'd be getting asked out on dates by men whose kids were my students.
That was really weird. Even though most people in the online dating thing know that no response is fine, I never could do that because y'know, I'd see these people in town and at work So I ended up replying by saying thanks for the offer but I just met someone and want to see where it goes. It seemed less harsh than saying I wasn't interested in them in particular, and I think most people understand that you're really just being polite.
posted by kinetic at AM on May 2, [ 6 favorites ]. I disagree that you should do the ignore thing. You've met them in social situations around town, you're likely to meet them again, online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks.
I agree with desjardins that "I don't think we're a match, but These are IRL people, you want to build bridges IRL, not burn them, online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks. Also, they have friends. posted by headnsouth at AM on May 2, [ 3 favorites ]. A people pleaser indeed! You do not owe anyone a date.
It's important to learn that for your own well-being, sometimes you have to say no, and I agree with others who have said that in this situation the best way to say no is just not to reply. If you've met them face to face before and want to be friends but not date, then just tell them that. posted by Dansaman at AM on May 2, [ 2 favorites ]. If they want an explanation, feel free to say "I would prefer not to", or simply not reply, as you prefer.
If you don't want to risk burning a bridge with them, you could offer online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks in the daytime, but that's really optional. posted by Halloween Jack at AM on May 2, Yeah, if you've met them in person you can't do the ignore. I like desjardin's advice "I don't think we're a match I can deal much better with the straightforward approach when there isn't some sort of evaluation of me involved.
When you haven't met the person, ignore. Even though I don't place huge emotions in whatever happens with online dating, it kind of sucks to see you have a new message, open it and get a no. I usually just think the person is full of themselves enough to think I'm just hanging on their reply. I also don't send those messages to people who message me, online dating just ignor people or tell no thanks I don't want to go on a date with them.
posted by sweetkid at AM on May 2, [ 4 favorites ]. Agreeing that no response is the usual internet dating way to handle this. It's important to remember that e-dating values are different than RL values for better or worseand not responding is perfectly OK, even preferred. That said, if you do need to respond, simply say 'Thanks, but no thanks'.
And then do not communicate any further, even when prodded. posted by Capt. Renault at AM on May 2, I'll go against the grain and say it strikes me a guy as polite to send a quick I'll-pass note, 'specially if the person's taken the time to write more than a sentence or two. If you're concerned about follow-ups, you can send the note and block the people. posted by ambient2 at AM on May 2, [ 5 favorites ].
Goodness, ignoring people is the polite thing nowadays? I much more would rather get a 'thank you, but no thank you' response then being blanked. Unless someone is being a jerk, or being aggressive, not responding just seems like the easy-for-me avoidance solution, not the polite solution. Polite to me way to do it: "Thank you X, I really appreciate you taking the time to contact me. I am sorry, but I am not interested right now. I'm of the opinion that a very short email reply to someone YOU KNOW would be appropriate.
Either Ambient2 or edgeways notes are fine. Sure they may be bummed, but at least they'll know where they stand and they can move onto someone else. Random ladies you don't know, I think it's safe to ignore. Wouldn't it be awesome if these dating sites had a NO THANKS button you could just push?
No wondering if the person got your email, and no awkwardness. A quick response and onto the next person. posted by Ruthless Bunny at AM on May 2, I agree that "Thanks for your message but I don't think we'd be a good match" is the polite way to go. It's how I'd want to be treated so I used that as my guide. posted by Twicketface at AM on May 2, [ 5 favorites ].
Is there a nice way to say 'thanks, but no' in online dating? - onlinedating | Ask MetaFilter
· It seems super weird to me to messages someone you know in real life on an online dating site. If you already know the person, maybe just ask them out in that context? That said, I think it would be weird to just ignore a message from someone you know and will be interacting with in the future. For those who have emailed you thus far, I would respond briefly with one of the excellent · It is unbearably rude to just ignore messages. Someone is, indeed, going out on a limb. The least you can do is say "Thank you, but I'm not interested'. Give them one chance to do the "Aww but I'm so awesome you'll love me" shtick, say "No thank you" again, and block them · Six Tips To Say ‘No Thanks’ When Online Dating. It’s easy enough to give advice about how to get yourself a date, how to make your profile more attractive and noticeable, finding the right things to say, how to be proactive and so on and so forth. But these aren’t the only kind of ‘how to’ tips when embarking on online dating. There’s also the much less romantic but just as
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